Fancy Feast

Blood. It’s a girl fight.

Alison’s Feast.

Oh shoot oh shoot. Lizzy was really getting on my nerves y’all. For those readers who have yet to meet her, she’s nasty! So nasty in certain moments that I forgot to shoot the before picture of my tacos. I was flustered. These were pretty tasty little guys though. I had one chicken and one lengua. Mexi coke to wash it all down. I don’t want fake sugar, anywhere near me. Get it off.

Lizzy’s Feast.

Blood. Don’t you listen to Alison… she’s straight up tellin’ stories. I’m not nasty. I make great lunch suggestions. Like the taco truck. Where else do you think she got the idea to get two tacos and tasty lil’ Mexi Coke? Me that’s who. My taco’s were al pastor. You won’t find me eating tongue tacos.

Second Feast. The incident.

We went to Yoppi. Lizzy kept saying, I don’t want that much Froyo y’all. I just like toppings. I need them all. I’m starving. Then she took the last of the perfectly crumbled Oreos.

Yeah… that’s right. I took all of the Oreos. Fruity Pebbles too. ALL OF THEM.

Alison’s Fancy.

This is the moment in which I flew off the handle. I was wearing a vintage polka dotted romper that I purchased at After Life boutique the previous Saturday at my friend Ryan DeLahoz’s art show. I think I might wear it for a week, not wash it, then throw it into my Etsy boutique. If you even think about telling me that’s gross, I will throw you down on the ground and step on your face. You know these red shoes. Don’t make me repeat where they’re from. I’ve already told you blood.

I only wear dresses with shorts built in so I can kick shit, like all the time.

Lizzy’s Fancy.

Alison was gettin’ so aggro and just a little bit hyphy that I had to shake my fist at her. Shake shake shake. You gotta watch your back around that girl, blood. She’ll drag you down to the ground and pull you around by your hair. I’m not even jokin’. That’s why I’ve got my hair in a no nonsense bun. I’m not gettin’ my hair pulled. NO. As you can see, I’m wearing my finest shit kicking ensemble, blood. My blood read floral shirt obtained at the Candy Store Collective, a lil’ black skirt and skin colored shoes that make my feet look like Barbie feet. What?! You don’t like that. Well. Step off, blood.

“Where’d you get that shirt blood? You look like you shop at the Gap outlet.”

Aw. Hell naw. Blood. Don’t you even tell me that your romper is better than my skirt. NO. No.

Dudes. It was hot yesterday. Tempers were flarin’. We stopped for a tick, flashed some gang signs…

and everything was a-ok. FRIENDS!

best hair shape yet.

Alison’s Feast.

Sometimes, actually one time, I went to Napa to Chateau St. Jean for work and I had some lunch. I brought the other half of my Caprese sandwich back as a trophy, along with this tasty white wine. I didn’t have any shrimp though. I just love shrimp and white wine. Swoon.

Lizzy’s Feast.

The most beautiful sandwich there ever was. The bacon, roasted tomato and crispy onion Naked Lunch sandwich. As I gazed lovingly upon this glowing morsel, I had an overwhelming urge to give it a high five. If only you had hands little sandwich. If only…

Alison’s Fancy.

I’d like to say that this is my absolute fanciest, hottest, most attractive, sexy, hott, hott look. Unwashed, oddly shaped hair. Check. American Apparel sweaty looking tee. Check. Gap bunchy longish shorts. Check. Red Camper tennies. Check.

The I know I look cute here, on this weird gate door look. Timeless. Check.

Furrowed too much sun, I don’t do well in heat, wait what am I sitting on brow. Check.

Lizzy’s Fancy.

Oh hey girl. You’re lookin’ real tall. And breezy.

For the extra height, I would like to thank my new mega tall heels. I bought them on super sale at Nine West. For the breeziness, I would like to send a shout out to my billowy skirt/ tank combo and, of course, Big Mama Nature.

I may look poised and graceful, but seconds after Jack snapped this picture I lost my balance and nearly took a tumble. I’m just like a ballerina.

Two hands for safety. Two feet on the ground.

Alison’s best hair shape yet. She’s also sporting a jeanie weenie.

We had a hard time captioning these last two photos. All Alison wants to say is, please kindly note her resemblance to Andy Warhol.

It’s really too bad Lizzy’s skirt didn’t fly up further in this shot.

clap your hands if you believe in fairies.

Alison’s Feast.

On this fine day, I suggested BLTs from the sandwich lady but Lizzy said no. No bacon for you! Thus, we went to the Nature Stop for healthy foods. I had a wild baked tofu sandwich and a nectarine. Reese’s on the side just to stick it to the Lizzy man. Copying Lizzy’s food choices is starting to become way too good for me. Marathon shmarathon. That’s why I had Triscuits and french fries for dinner at 10pm last night, while watching Glee on Netflix. Hellllllla bad for my body and brain.

Lizzy’s Feast.

That’s right. I’m the tyrant who popped Alison’s bacon daydreams. Man. I’m a jerk. Who am I to stop someone from eating bacon? Give Al some bacon. All this girl wants is some bacon.

While I forced Alison to eat tofu, I ate a turkey and cheese sandwich. It was totally great. It was totally messy and tomatoes and lettuce exploded out of the sandwich with every bite. I had a side of mini cheese. Man. I love cheese and tend to love cheese even more when it comes in a tiny red wax package. This type of cheese is the littlest champion of the cheese kingdom. For sass, I ate that nectarine and washed the whole thing down with some ginger beer. I love that stuff. It tastes like liquid gold.

Alison’s Fancy.

I’m wearing a hot pink tee from Target. That sweater there is from Zara. Jeans are by Levi’s and shoe are by Camper. I threw a lot of color in account of this summer business and lack of clean laundry. Now, let me tell you something. There’s a place called Cafe Gratitude. When you’re fresh off the boat from Ohio and your best friend is visiting and you hear about a weird hippie restaurant where they tell you that you’re beautiful when you get your food, you go to there. When you realize that you’re hungry and all the shit on the menu is nuts, literally, you order the pizza. When you get crackers with cheese on them and they call it a pizza, you go have a burger afterwards. When you’re talking with your friend in accents that are not from California, your server wearing a turban and sparkles asks you where you’re from. You say Ohio and she proceeds to ask you if there are fairies in Cleveland because she’s reading a fairy story and they live in Clevenland. You laugh and you laugh and you laugh. Lady is nuts. Let me tell you something else, according to these photos, there are fairies in San Francisco. Prove it?

Proof!

Lizzy’s Fancy.

Here I am, caught in a pensive moment, pondering the possibilities of fairies being real and the merits of cleaning your closet. Look! That navy blue pillow case looking dress was buried under a mountain of crap. Amazing. Finding this dress was like going shopping in my own closet. I supplemented my new/old dress with man shoes and a scarf tied haphazardly around my waist. What? I had to reign in that billowy pillowcase some how.

I swear. That jerk of a plant covered wall tried to eat me. Little Shop of Horror Style.  Alison + Jack my witness. The wall had it goin’ on with somethin’ kinda wicked wicked… I really had to kick it.

Dang. The hand to chin pose is really hot right now.

Friendship!!

baby bbq.

Alison’s Feast and Fancy.

Hi there. I’m just hanging out on the sidewalk, eating a Jack’s special baby burger, wearing some Ray Bans that I drunkenly bought last fourth of July. I’m also wearing a sloppy tee from American Apparel and my Madewell pants. Jack, being the big Poppa that he is, decided we were gonna bbq on the sidewalk outside of our office. He is the greatest.

My burger was so baby, I had to eat a hot dog too.

Look at the bun to baby burger ratio here. Go Jack!

Work it boi!

Lizzy’s Mega Feast.

So. Yesterday I ate like a portly child let loose at the County Fair. It all started innocently enough with the soup pictured above. I swear I ate first lunch with the best of intentions. I would like to thank Naked Lunch for concocting such a tasty pre lunch lunch. The soup above is a carrot ginger blend that was no shrinking violet, let me tell you what. It packed a delicious wallop and I wished that the mug was bottomless. I loved it and that is that.

Oh look. This is my second lunch. Jack threw a possibly illegal BBQ on the sidewalk yesterday during lunch time. After I returned from Naked Lunch, I popped outside and hopped on the hot dog express. I slapped some cheddar cheese and ketchup on that fella and paused only long enough to take the majestic photo above.

Microwave s’mores are possibly my favorite guilty pleasure food ever ever ever. Actually. What am I talking about. They fall in line behind Fruity Pebbles. After a failed work sponsored beach bonfire, s’more fixin’s were just hanging out in the office. I placed the chocolate on the graham and trapped the mallow next to the chocolate with the other half of the graham. The end is result is this lil’ champion.

In honor of my pal Jeremy Fanciest Fish packing up his big art show and heading on out to the big apple, I ate this cheeseburger at Zeitgeist. It was great. There were potatoes on the side. I loved it i loved it i loved it.

Lizzy didn’t take any fancy pictures…sooooo…. here is Jack’s Fancy.

This is Jack. You’ve met him before. Here he is in all of his BBQ master, dad glory. He’s pointing to the hot dogs that are all ready to go and telling us to be careful… they’re hot. He’s really into wearing shorts on summery days. Did you know that seafoam green is his favorite color ever? It is. It really is. He wears it, like, just about everyday. HI JACK!

Precious moments.

Alison’s Feast.

Wizardry at its finest. Egg and chorizo. Yum yum yum yum. Yum yum yum yum yum. Yummy. It’s good. It was so good. I loved it. Yeah Yeah Yeah. It tasted awesome and I love Naked Lunch. Food blogging at its finest. Thank you.

You know. I’m really sorry about that lack of verbs up there. I woke up this morning with Britney Spears stuck in my head. I love Britney but “you feel like paradise, and I need a vacation toni-i-ight,” has been stuck in my head all day. Why do you need a vacation tonight Britney? You’re partying. You’re dancing. Isn’t your life a vacation? What about tomorrow morning, will you need a vacation tomorrow? These questions are plaguing me. Also, what does paradise feel like? Is it anything like touching butts with Lizzy? Photo below.

Lizzy’s Feast.

It’s a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder, how I keep from going under. Under the spell of this amazing sandwich!

This scene is a jungle of delicious food, bevs and sandwich residue covered paper. The lil’ sandwich nestled so sweetly amongst the thicket of paper is a roasted carrot and ricotta sandwich. The sando wizards really pulled out all the stops on this one, referencing their most fantastic and majestic spell book. End result of all that wizardry? A sandwich that tastes like Indian food and hugs. Two of my favorite things.

Alison’s Fancy.

Something I’ve noticed about our fellow fashion bloggers is that sometimes their hair looks fluffy and weird. I always thought it was a hair to body ratio illusion but thanks to these photos I’ve realized it may just come with the fashion blogging territory. I am now a party of the Elite Fashion Bloggers Fluffy Hair Club for Women.

I’m wearing a Ralph Lauren Rugby shirt. Those pants are Madewell and the shoes are Adidas. They smell weird but I love them.

Hi Mom!

This was not hard at all. I didn’t fall. Nope. 

Lizzy’s Fancy.

This outfit is an ode to two things: A) my college advertising professor, Raymond Nichols and B) contrast. A) Ray is a man who wears black and only black and looks super cool doing it. He may have only donned black for the sheer simplicity of it all… truthfully, the real reason escapes me now. Some people take their all black cues from Johnny Cash or Audrey Hepburn. I take mine from a rad bearded dude in Delaware with a sweet Southern drawl, who I had the privilege of learning many a lesson from. B) When I wear all black, I look like snowman all dressed up to go to a funeral. Cool, right?!

This is my half-assed Uppercase D impression.

Physical fitness is fun.

 A passerby said that I looked really comfy. He was really, really right.

Sass and ass.

Praying to the fashion gods. Please deliver us clothes in kitty cat allover print!

Precious moments.

the office.

Alison’s Feast.

Specialty’s salads have really been owning my life lately. 1. Specialty’s is pretty close and you can order online. 2. You can edit EVERYTHING. If you want bacon, you get bacon. 3. They kind of keep me fitting inside of my pants when I eat fried foods for dinner, EVERY NIGHT.

Lizzy’s Feast.

Wow. This beautiful specimen is the Spinach + Bacon salad from Specialty’s. Even though you didn’t get to see a whole lot of Fancy Feast action this week (and we’re so so sorry) rest assured that I ate this salad twice already this week. It’s just that good. C’mon. What can be bad about a pound of spinach, BACON, an egg, a million vegetables AND poppy seed dressing. Poppy seed dressing has ruled my life this week. I am it’s humble and obedient servant.

Alison’s Fancy.

We are often asked by our many many, we have so many guys, but we need more, tell your friends, followers, “do you ever work?” Yes. Why would you ever ask that? What is wrong with you? We work. Fancy Feast is reserved for lunch breaks and our those ten minute breaks that the law gives us, thanks California. Fancy Feast also does not express the views of our employer. We love cussing and drinking. On this day, people were playing XBOX in the break room so we decided to have a photo shoot in our office. We wanted to show off our office supply collection.

Yeah. I always measure my to do list while wearing my attached to clipboard pen behind my ear. Duh.

I make it rain neon post-its!

Like a boss.

This is my bike. There are cat stickers. I will show you guys some other time. My boyfriend, Kirk Moccasin, makes fun of me when I wear this sweater. He calls me MJ. No Kirk, no. Michael Jackson never shopped at the Gap. Michael Jackson never got his t-shirts at JCrew. Michael Jackson did not buy his jeans at the Gap and he sure as hell didn’t wear Minnetonkas Kirk!

Lizzy’s Fancy.

Oh hi. This is me doing work and drinking a hot beverage cradled lovingly by my hand and a white Ikea mug.

Oh hi. As you can see, I’m working very very hard. I barely had time to pose for this photograph.

Alison likes to brag about these really cool pens. Like all the time. She displays them on her desk like a trophy. I snatched them off her desk and posed real serious like with them. Boom. How do you like them apples?! I look especially tough and menacing wearing that lace tank top and chocolate brown cardigan combo.

Thanks for those 10 minute breaks California. I’ll kick my feet up if I want to and drink a warm beverage if the mood strikes.

And THEN. When my break is over, I like to hop out of my chair, stretch and assume my very favorite pirate stance. This stance is a favorite of mine, because it really shows off my awkwardly short pants, white ankles and non colored shoes. It really showcases all of these things to their highest potential. Yarrrr.

Office Olympics. Wheely office chair spinning. Spinning like a couple of bosses. No big thing.

That is… it’s no big thing until you get dizzy. That’s when excessive spinning becomes a downright problem.

Bummer Summer.

Maybe Kirk Moccasin will stock our freezer with ice cream. He really hates to see Alison get down in the dumps.